so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
