she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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