Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize