Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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