Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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