Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
