Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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