My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
