So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
