You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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