One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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