I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
