I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
