Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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