I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
