apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
