so that wasnt chicken after all
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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