Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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