I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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