Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
