so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize