if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So squirting runs in the family.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
