her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
