The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
this must be what syphilis tastes like
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
