Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize