8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
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a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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