u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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