My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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