Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
