i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
