how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
