I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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