im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
