Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
