I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
