u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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