Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm both gender and math confused
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
