Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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