I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
