I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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