I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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