You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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