oh god the rape fog is back!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
