so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
