what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
