This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
