those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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