there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
