she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
