Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
