Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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