Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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