If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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