you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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