Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
