So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
