I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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