He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
