He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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