what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
