tonight lets celebrate not being married
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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