I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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