I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
