As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
