sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
