Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
