Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
