i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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